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Recipes

for Chapter One

 

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Hemingway’s Affordable Apple Rings™

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Prep: 15mCook: 15mReady in: 39m

Recipe By: Arne Hemingway

This is my kids' favourite breakfast. There are only two easy steps. The cost is only $1.50 per person. $4.50 if it's for my wife.

Ingredients

1 cup any flour1/2 cup milk
2 teaspoons baking powderAn egg
1/2 teaspoon salt2 tablespoons butter, melted
2 teaspoons white sugar4 apples

 

Directions

  1. Add the first four dry ingredients to your largest bowl and stir it with a fork. This is the same thing as sifting. Make a mound then make a well in the mound and add the milk and egg. Stir together.
    Add the melted butter and stir some more until completely blended.
    Core four apples. Slice one of them up, making each slice an unbroken disc as thin as you can get it, but don't be ridiculous about it. You don't need to be able to see through it.
    Add the sliced apple to the bowl and cover with batter. Set Aside.
    Warm up your frying pan over medium high heat. Using tongs, pick up each slice and place in the pan until the pan is full. Then using a spoon, fill each hole in each disc with a little more batter.
    Brown on both sides until golden. While you're waiting, slice up another apple.
    Once done, place them on the plate in a pretty flower pattern if they're for Lina, or just throw them on the plate if they're for Rufus.
    If for Lina, take a spoonful of icing sugar and do your best approximation of "dusting" the rings with the sugar. Don't worry about it. Kids don't appreciate good technique anyway.
  2. Serve.

Copyright © All rights reserved - Arne Hemingway

 

 

 

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Hemingway’s Perfect Rye Manhattan™

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Prep: 1mCook: 0mReady in: 1m

Recipe By: Arne Hemingway

The perfect Manhattan in just two easy steps!

Remember when choosing Canadian whiskey, choose in this order: Forty Creek.
That's it. That's the only one. If however, you're lost in a desert and you only have Gibsons or Wiser's, then you can use either of those. If you have another brand or if you have only have bourbon/urine handy, then make a different drink. And if you have anything from Seagram's, kill yourself.
As for the vermouth, Martini and Rossi sweet vermouth is always a good choice. Dolin vermouth de Chambery is delightful if you can obtain it.

Ingredients

lowball glass1 oz sweet vermouth
ice2 maraschino cherries on a teaspoon with juice
2 oz Forty Creek Whiskey

 

Directions

  1. As this is a perfect drink, I'll only cover how to make it perfectly:
    Put the ice in the lowball glass. This is a built drink. Use only a lowball or a coffee mug. Actually use anything including your cupped hands if someone else is pouring.
    Pour the Forty Creek into the shot glass right up to the top so you can see the surface tension. That's 2 ounces. The bigger the meniscus, the better the drink will be. Tip the contents into the glass.
    Pour a single shot of vermouth and tip that into the glass.
    Using a teaspoon, fish two maraschino cherries out of the jar, bringing a bit of the sugar syrup along. Tip that into the glass.
    Stir it up with your little finger, then lick said finger clean because - waste not want not.
    A perfect Manhattan is actually better if the ice in the glass melts a little in order to mellow the alcohol a bit, so wait a good 4 to 7 seconds before taking that first sip.
  2. I have an erection now.

Copyright © All rights reserved - Arne Hemingway